


Banana Fish: World Paradox

by Alius_12th



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ash Lynx Lives, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27208333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alius_12th/pseuds/Alius_12th
Summary: "It is time to go back."The familliar voice in my head said but my feet won't move. Will I really leave like this? Leave Ash alone?"Dear Hostess, it is time now and if thou shall not hurry. The gates will close forever.""I know."I know my role here is over but..."Ash..."The time is ticking, and I already did as much as I could but what is my reason to stay?Remembering all that has passed, the moments I shared together with him, a fictional character, felt too much and uncontrollable tears pour down my face while I decide here in the middle of this fictional world's end.What should I do? What should I have done?"Ash... *sob*... what should I...?"Please tell me... what should I choose?
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Reader, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Kudos: 16
Collections: Banana Fish Fics





	1. Prologue

"In the manga, after being stabbed, **Ash** goes to the library to continue reading Eiji's letter and **dies** by bleeding out there."

How many times have I read this?

For the past two or three months. I was sleepless. The memory of watching that anime that I found because it was highly recommended was stuck in my head and I still can't believe how the character I favored so much died just like that.

It felt... unfair.

"Y/N it's already past your shift. You should really go home."

A co-worker of mine caught my attention and I immediately close the tab that was open on my computer.

I was searching on google if the manga of Banana Fish and the anime has a different version of ending because the sudden death of Ash, the character I really adored throughout the series, made me go through depression.

Weird as much as it sounds but his death was too much for me. I was attached to him personally like a person would to a loved one or a relative.

The reason? I don't know myself, and that's why I just can't forget about him or the story of Banana Fish.

"I'll just finish this. You go on ahead." I replied to Lily who was getting ready to leave.

Both of us looked really awful with the hectic schedule of our jobs. But I'm sure I look worst because of me, ugly crying at night replaying the ending of Banana Fish in my head.

"Okay, but I'm warning you weird stuff happens here at night so you better watch out for yourself. I heard people disappear here out of thin air when midnight strikes."

I looked up at her and grin while shaking my head.

Lily and her weird stories. How many times has she warned me about this?

The 12th time?

"Lily, I'm sure if a vengeful ghost of some sort takes people from out of nowhere then I'm sure I'm not a candidate the ghost would go for."

"And why is that?", She looks at me with confusion painted on her face.

"Because I'm sure I look deader than dead and the ghost will just think I'm one of it's kind. We'll probably just have a party here while you guys are all away."

Lily chuckle and I smile to myself because of how lame that joke was.

"Alright, then. I'll leave you, and your ghost friend to party all night. Just let me hear the details tomorrow."

I scratch my tired eyes and nod at her.

"Yeah, sure will."

Lily smiled and wave her hand to me.

"Bye!"she said with a cheerful tone.

"Have a safe trip home." I replied.

Everything was silent again and I looked at my blank screen. The eyeglasses I'm wearing looks really old but I like it since it looked like the one Ash used in the anime.

I scoffed and facepalm myself.

I thought of him again.

"Uuuuurgh! This is so frustrating! Why did he have to die?"

For fuck's sake just why did he have to?

My lips form a thin line when I felt the tears welling up again.

Just why did you have to choose death over being with Eiji, Ash?

If only... If only I could change the ending even if it was only for a moment.

I bit my lip and wipe the tears that were falling one after another.

We got to move on. This isn't healthy anymore.

I look at my watch. It's almost midnight and to be honest I feel a little creeped out by how quite the whole room, I am in, is right now.

I felt like there are eyes looking at my direction so I gather my things, close my computer, and took my keys off my table and immediately run out the office.

I was already out of the office and into the elevator. Time felt so slow and for some reason as soon as I got in the elevator my watch stopped at exactly 12 a.m.

I know I shouldn't believe what Lily told me about this place but I suddenly felt scared and I can't help but feel like someone has been watching me.

When the elevator doors open I rush out of the elevator to the stairs and finally, out of the building.

The sky was so dark it's straight out of a horror movie.

Can't this get any creepier?

I felt cold all of a sudden when the wind brush my cheeks. I shudder at the thought that I still felt someone was watching me and as I take a step faster and faster.

I heard a faint footstep that I am sure was not mine.

I stop on my tracks and I break out in a cold sweat. My grip on my bag tightened and my hands won't stop trembling.

I know I should be running by now but my body won't move.

I feel like my legs will collapse if I even dare move.

And just then I heard a voice.

"Run..."

My eyes widen because I recognized it.

It couldn't be?

"Not safe..."

Again! I heard the voice again!

But it's so faint I don't even know if I heard it right.

"RUN!"

This time I heard him loud and clear. It felt like my ears were about to be torn off by how loud the shout was but the voice calmed me down just enough for me to muster up the courage to run for my life and not look back as I do so.

With my hair swinging in the air and gasping for breath as I run like I was competing for a marathon, the cold air became warm and embracing.

It felt like I wasn't alone and someone, I don't know who but someone was running beside me.

Assuring everything will be alright.

When I reached the streets where vehicles usually pass by I stop for a moment to catch my breath.

Because gosh darn running in heels was not easy!

And just then a blinding light came out of nowhere and when I looked in front of me.

I saw him.  
  
  


Aslan Jade Callenreese.

My mouth was wide open and I was about to reach out to him to make sure I was not just imagining him.

I was so close to touching him when his expression changed, and our eyes met. I was about to smile at him but his expression was horrified.

I looked at what he was looking behind me and realized too late that a car was only a meter away from me.

I look back at him.

Everything felt so fast and the last thing I saw before the car hit me was his beautiful jade-like eyes looking directly at me...filled with fear.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. His Savior

I feel cold.

Did I fell asleep somewhere?

I slowly open my eyes to look at my surroundings but when I did. I was out of words to say. I was completely speechless.

Where am I? And snow?

Where did all this snow came from?

I stood up almost immediately, and only then I felt my attire is different from what I was supposed to be wearing just a minute ago.

And I was right! I was wearing a coat and a scarf! Where did my office attire go?!

And what in the world is going on?!

Wait...wasn't I supposed to be dead?

"Oh."

Suddenly, I realized I am in the afterlife. That's right, there's no other plausible reason why I'm at a place like this but that I passed away.

I looked around and see no one else here beside me but a dead tree and lots of snow.

But really? Snow in the afterlife? Is this like a cold version of hell?

Wait, wait, wait why did I just assume I am in hell?

No, wait, if this is the afterlife wasn't there supposed to be like a grand welcome or something?

Where the angels at? If not how about a grim reaper? 

I sat back down on the bench where I woke up, confused, and unable to take in everything that is happening right now all at once.

I was sure I was hit by a car and I saw...

I suddenly feel my head throb trying to remember who was it I saw.

"Ash..."

I jolt up at the mention of a name I'm very familiar with, and slowly, I turn my head to the direction where the voice came from.

My eyes widened and I simply, cannot believe who I am looking at, at this very moment. This scene, this place's ambience, the setting and everything.

Why did I not notice it earlier?!

I feel the tears coming again and my lips form a smile seeing he is well and alive. 

He is alive, right?!

I feel like sobbing and hugging him at the same time but I stopped myself and instead try to reminisce what scene this is I am witnessing right now.

And when I saw the letter Ash was holding it dawned on me.

The last episode.

I feel my knees buckle under me.

This has got to be a joke, right?

The last...episode?

This is the part where Ash was supposed to die.

If my memory serves me right this is the part where Ash runs as fast as he could when he read Eiji's letter, and when he run towards where I am guessing Eiji is, he was stabbed by Lao and died.

But why?

Why am I here? What's the purpose of me witnessing his death first hand?

Isn't this too cruel? His death was already too much for me when I was watching it behind a screen but right now, it wasn't the case anymore.

Anxiety and fear creep into my mind slow and sure. I feel like every fiber of my being was stunned and I can't move a finger. I clutch my chest tightly while my eyes watch Ash as he read the letter in his hand. 

His expression changed from that of calm and collected to an expression of pure desperation. And just like how I predicted what will happen in this scene, he stand up and run as fast as he could.

"No, don't!" I shouted too late.

And I know this might be a stupid idea because I might just be a ghost or illusion, and I might not be able to change anything but I won't stand here and wait for him to meet death with open arms!

Definitely not! 

I won't go through the same hell twice!

Even though I still feel confused and my knees felt like giving up any moment, I run after him with all I have.

I am desperate, I know. 

This might not be even real!

But my feelings!

My feelings for Ash even if he was just someone given life to with ink and paper is real!

It's all real for me!

And I sure will not let him die on me just like that!

Tears were falling down from my cheeks as I ran towards him and when I saw the familiar silhouette of Lao.

"ASH! NO!", I shouted and I got his attention before he take another step and get stabbed.

I give my all to what might be my last step and push Ash aside.

I felt my body colliding with his and I was so happy I could touch him.

This means that I saved him!

By shoving him aside the knife didn't hit him!

I smiled at him expecting to see relief in his eyes but he got this horrified expression on his face instead.

Why does he look so scared?

And just then, I felt something piercing my stomach. It was painful and I suddenly coughed out blood.

I turned my head to look at Lao who was also in shock, and my hands trembled at the sight of my clothes already dyed in blood.

Oh...so I was the one stabbed.

I force a smile on my face and coughed again.

"Looks like... I got the short end of the stick... but... I don't... regret it.", is what I told myself but I suddenly felt scared of what could happen next.

Ash immediately took out his gun and without a word, shoot Lao who was still in a state of shock. Lao winced in pain and his arm started bleeding from the injury he sustained.

His hold on the knife loosen and my legs finally give out.

I know I was supposed to fall on the hard pavement but Ash caught me just in time and from his chest I can feel his heart beating fast.

He is alive.

Ash is alive.

The happiness I felt was overwhelming there was no other way for me to express but to cry in joy.

I held my hand out to him and gently touch his face. He felt warm and his eyes were really beautiful. It was the color of jade, just like how it was described in the story.

"Miss! Miss! Hold on! Don't fall asleep! Miss!"

Even his voice sound so tender it makes me feel at ease. His arm around me felt so comfortable. 

"Damn it! Why did this happen?! Who are you, you crazy woman?! Throwing yourself in front of a knife like that is dangerous! Do you have a death wish?!"

He looks worried. How cute.

Ah, this might be heaven and if it is, then I'll be more than glad to finally rest in peace.

"Just hold on, okay? Don't die on me!"

I feel myself float on air when Ash carried me in his arms. I put my head close to his chest listening to his heartbeat it was a very pleasant sound to listen to and I smiled to myself thinking how I saved the one who I wanted to protect. I felt him running again while carrying me and I look up at him with the same silly smile on my face.

If this was my last chance given to me by God to change the future of Ash in his story before finally passing on, then I'm glad I did it.

Every second was worth it.

Because finally, Ash can be reunited with Eiji. They can finally live happily.

That is my final wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope that you will enjoy the next chapter too! I will do my best to upload weekly to not keep you all waiting ♥️


	3. A Wish Realized

"How is she?"

"I don't know but she might not wake up, Ash."

"What the hell does that even mean?!"

"It's just a possibility, calm down!"

"That woman saved me. And I don't even know her name!"

The voices you heard was oddly familiar but you can't speak nor move at the moment. It felt like you were trapped in your own body and it was not yours to command.

"Alright, I know how you feel but prepare yourself for the worst. She was in fatal condition when you took her here. She lost too much blood. It was even a miracle she's still alive."

"Fuck miracles! I need her to wake up! I don't want another life sacrificed! Lao's knife was supposed to be for me! I was the one who should have been stabbed not some random person passing by!"

"Calm the shit down, Ash! Your voice is too loud! We're in a hospital for fuck's sake!"

"Damn it!"

Anger and frustration was evident in Ash's voice as he looks at you lying on the hospital bed and hearing him made you want to comfort him and tell him that you are alright but your body won't listen to you.

"Let's check on her again later. She might hear us, and us arguing like this might just scare her even more."

Ash sighs in defeat, and you hear someone's footsteps approaching where you are currently laid on.

Ash lean close to your ear, and with sadness in his eyes, whisper to you.

"Please, wake up. I need to apologize to you, and I don't want another person to die right before my eyes again."

There was a pause, a hint of hesitation. But when he felt his body relax, he finally finishes his sentence, voice wrenched in a heartbreaking plea.

"I beg you, wake up."

After that Ash and Max left leaving you behind with your thoughts.

You thought you should have been already dead by now but why do you still remain conscious? And it looks like you stayed in this place where Ash exists.

And as if, your prayers have been heard you hear a weird sound of notification in your head.

After the notification a voice was heard and you hear someone immediately speaking.

"Dear esteemed hostess, welcome to World Paradox. I am your guide, your humble servant Aster. I am here to help you in your needs in finishing your mission for this world. We have heard your wish and thus your wish is our command. Although, I am not quite sure that you are aware of your position yet."

You furrowed your eyebrows in irritation. Isn't that a little obvious?

"Well, damn right, I don't. And where did you even come from?"

Just thinking about what happened the last few hours is hurting my head, is what you thought to yourself.

I got hit by a car, woke up and then got stabbed and now I'm lying on a hospital bed with no clue whatsoever what it is that's going on.

But wait... what? I can speak now?

"Please refrain from using such language, esteemed hostess.This is a very formal meeting and we expect for you to behave and speak accordingly."

"Uh... Okay?"

This is all too shocking to even think about anything anymore. I suddenly felt dumber.

"First, let me answer your question. Where did I come from? I come from your desire, esteemed hostess. Your desire to see beyond the world you were in, granted you the freedom to travel to another dimension which should not have existed. Your purpose in this place is as you see fit. Your missions, I will elaborate later on. For now, I shall take off your restraints to grant you full access to your avatar."

I heard a sound, similar to an electric lock being opened and just like that I can finally move my body again.

I look at my hands and my arms. I tried stretching it but as soon as I did I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen.

Fuck! I almost forgot about getting stabbed there.

"Ow... that really hurts...so bad." I said as I lifted my shirt up and looked at my bondaged stomach.

They weren't kidding when they said my injury was fatal. I could've really died but... aren't I supposed to be dead in the first place?

Now, I'm just confused.

"Esteemed Hostess, please refrain from getting fatally injured. It might not be your real body but it doesn't mean you are not to feel pain, hunger or any necessary function a normal human body should have."

You look around to see if there's a shadow or silhouette of the person talking to you but it looks like only you can hear his voice in your head.

Am I finally going crazy?

Well, to be painfully honest, I won't even be surprised anymore if I did. 

"So... this body if I'm not wrong. You called it an 'avatar'. What exactly do you mean by that, and what in the world is really happening here?"

"Like I have previously stated. This world is a manifestation of your desire and so am I. A dimension that should not have existed in the first place become into existence because of your wish."

"You mean... this world is just my imagination?"

"Not quite."

Your brows furrowed in confusion and you feel dizzy all of a sudden when you tried standing up. Feeling like you might pass out any time soon, you decided to just sit back on your bed and hold on tight to the bed's headboard.

"Then what is this place?"

"It was an empty space but your wish granted it the right to exist. A dimension was created and a world you are very familiar with, pardon. A story you are very familiar with came into life and took this space and exist. In other words just like the world you exist in, this world now is no longer fictional nor an imagination. The people you see here exists in this dimension, they are very much alive like you. The incidents and events you know that happened in this world are also now true."

In other words, Ash's past and everything that he have gone through, how he met Eiji, Papa Golzine and about Shorter and Skip... it's all now real in this world? 

Just remembering everything he had gone through makes me feel like I want to go on a rampage and hunt every single person who abused and hurt him. 

But Papa Golzine is already dead, so is Shorter and Skip.

What bad luck to only come here at the very last episode. 

That way I won't be able to change anything much, other than saving Ash and keeping him alive. But in the first place, the reason why he chose death was that he saw himself as someone who isn't worthy of being with Eiji.

This is bad... I suddenly feel guilty for dragging Ash's suffering much longer now.

But I really want to save him. I want him to be with Eiji so bad that my body acted out on it's own.

"Aster...was it?"

"Yes, esteemed hostess?"

He sounds really convincing, whoever this Aster is, but I don't know if I can trust him.

I should probably gain more information about my situation. After that, I'll decide on the next step I should make.

Yes, that sounds like a plan.

"Say Aster, why was I brought here at the very last minute of the story? Usually, in these type of situations aren't I supposed to be at the very first episode?"

"Good question as expected of a noble being like yourself, esteemed hostess."

Is that really a compliment just now or was it him mocking me?

"You see we did as much as we could to satisfy your wish and if you can remember before you came here, your wish was very specific wasn't it?"

I was looking at the door and the dull white painted wall of the room I am currently in when it finally hit me.

A wish.

I did make one and it was specifically about Ash. 

The pain from his sudden death in the story left me depressed and sad, making me want to change the ending so bad to the point I would have flew to Japan and argue with the author of the manga herself and it won't even matter if she was dead. 

I just want to give her a piece of my mind.

"..."

So that's why... things turned out like this.

It kind of makes sense.

But all of this was because of my wish? Can I really believe something like that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait♥️ Here is the new chapter. Enjoy!♥️


	4. May the odds ever be in your favor

"So this is all because of me.", is what I blurted out without thinking but the voice immediately interrupted me.

"Hmm... I can't say for sure."

You raised an eyebrow and sat comfortably on your bed because of the pain you feel from your stomach.

After finding the right position you feel the pain subside a little, and you feel like you can think much more clearly now.

"Why is that?", you said in a curious tone.

"Let's just say... it's our policy not to disclose private information of our clients."

This guy is too vague it's making my temples hurt along with my stomach.

"Then what about the avatar thing? And my mission?"

"Ah yes! As you already know, you were not supposed to exist in this dimension."

"And?"

"Your body in your own world still exists but in a coma-like state. And the you, existing here is your psyche or to be precise your consciousness. The body you are in is called an 'avatar' which is specifically made to resemble your real body. It is without a soul that's why when you came here you were immediately transferred into this body with ease. When your mission is done in this dimension and we have satisfied your wishes, you will be brought back to your world and your avatar will cease to exist, and the memory of the people you will encounter in this world will be wiped out not leaving a trace of you, to prevent any more distortion of this world's natural order."

I was once again left stunned. I didn't know that things will become this complicated.

Jumping from one dimension to another and all the change the story thing was much more complex than I thought. And what I have read about getting transferred to another world in manga or novels was too good to be true.

But what the voice said all makes sense. The situation I was hoping for was wishful thinking, no matter what the world I am in right now is a 'reality' to the people that exists here while for me it is 'fiction'.

Just the other day, Ash was a fictional character from where I am but in this world it seems that it's not the case.

He is a living and breathing person.

And this is the world he exists in but doesn't that mean someone that does not belong here, like me for example, is a work of fiction?

I shake my head and sigh. I'm sure if those researchers that are crazy for parallel worlds and stuff like that would murder just to be in my position right now.

"My mission. You haven't mentioned my mission yet."

"Oh, yes. Your mission is actually very simple. And I ought to remind you that your time in this place is limited to prevent further consequences of travelling into a different dimension. If you forget about the time limit, I cannot guarantee anything about your life."

"You mean, I might die? For real this time?"

"Yes, but if you die in this world, you will completely be also dead."

The conversation just took a very dark turn. This feels awkward and it's definitely not good for someone who just got stabbed and suffered a fatal injury.

"Your mission is to finish what you have started. And by that, we mean you disrupting the natural flow of the story of this world and how you come to know it. Aslan Jade Callenreese was supposed to be dead but he was saved by you, a stranger, and now it's your responsibility to finish the story as you see fit. After we determine that your mission is complete and we have satisfied your wish, you will go back to your own world and live as you normally would. Ash is your target and you need to keep him alive and in check. But of course, we shall also extend a helping hand to you."

"Now that is something I hope will be good to hear.", all I can do right now is sigh and accept what it is I gotten myself into. I wanted this in the first place but I also don't want to lie to myself.

Right now, at this very moment, I feel so scared it makes me want to go home. But thinking about Ash and his story that I read over and over again, thinking about the chance that I can give him a future where he can genuinely be happy makes me feel it was all worth it after all.

"Based on your performance on the mission given to you, we will offer you limited rewards which you will need to survive in this world. The notification will be random and you will choose from the many choices we will give you when the time comes. And believe me, you wouldn't want to miss the notifications for your rewards. It is in simpler terms, your survival kit. The world you chose is not one to be taken lightly, do remember that, and I hope you are already prepared for what's to come, esteemed hostess."

I held on the blanket and clutch unto it tightly. I know just how dangerous this place is. It's where a lot of people Ash cared about died, it's the place where he experienced hell itself. But he was so desperate to live and to survive in this kind of place. That's why, it's only fair that if I have to stay by his side from now on, to do the same and survive until I complete my mission.

My goal now is to give him the ending in his story that he deserves. That's the right decision to make, isn't it?

You take in a deep breath, hold it in your lungs for a bit before exhaling. The tension you feel in the air was so thick it felt like you couldn't breathe properly. You look at where you were stabbed and touch it as if to remind yourself of what is it you came here for.

You have decided what to do and all that's left now is to act upon it.

"Aster..."

"Yes, hostess?"

"I'll reunite Ash and Eiji."

"Oh? Is that so?"

I smiled to myself and look up the ceiling.

Damn, is that even possible? The reason why Ash died was because he felt he did not deserve someone like Eiji but it wasn't the case for Eiji.

That's why there might be a chance to reunite them again if Eiji still feels strongly for Ash.

But this means I have to put my feelings for Ash aside, and focus on the mission.

"That's... the ending Ash deserves. He and Eiji were meant to be together in the first place."

You heard a beeping sound once again and the voice speaks to you.

"Well, I wish you the best of luck, esteemed hostess. And be warned that the path you will take no matter how different will be filled with danger. Please, be careful."

"Yeah, I will. Thanks for the information you shared to me."

"I am simply doing my job, esteemed hostess. Then, I shall excuse myself now. We at World Paradox shall watch over you till the end of your time in this dimension."

"I'll look forward to that."

You said in a confident tone but the tiny shake in your voice was more than enough for anyone to be able to tell that it was a vain display of courage.

"ut per gratiam tuam semper odds erit, esteemed hostess."

And those were the last words you heard from the voice before it completely disappears like it didn't even exist to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the long wait and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you for your support :)


	5. Assault

You were just about to relax, to ease the tension on your body when someone swings open the door, revealing the sour expression on Ash's face.

You look at him still unable to believe he is right in front of you.

"Y-you're awake.", He said when he saw you sitting up and was just about to lay down on your bed again.

"Y-y-yeah...uh... I am."

His eyes looked around the room with caution and closed the door behind him before taking a seat beside your bed.

"First... I would like to apologize for what happened and I know I should thank you for what you did but can I ask you a question?"

You blushed when Ash turned his head and look at you directly. His jaded eyes that were very notable in the story of Banana Fish were not exaggerated at all. His eyes were beyond beautiful, and it felt like he was looking deep inside your soul.

His demeanor and the way he presents himself was also intimidating but for a reason that you can't really put your hand on, you felt comfortable in his presence. 

You almost smiled to yourself remembering how Ash looks cold and intimidating but when he is with Eiji, he suddenly becomes this very gentle and soft person who cares so much about the people he genuinely feels comfortable around.

You clear your throat before answering him and you made sure to soften your expression to give him no reason to feel cautious around you. He might be the Ash that you know but you are a complete stranger in his eyes. You don't want to complicate things by making him suspicious of you.

"Yes, I don't mind."

"When you saved me and got stabbed in my stead. You called me by my name. How did you know who I am? And why were you there?"

As expected of Ash, not only was he smart but also very sharp about these kind of things. You scratch the back of your head and think of an excuse in the process but nothing comes to mind that you think will convince him.

But is it possible for you to be honest?

You sigh in defeat. Too much thinking is stressful for you at this point. 

But being completely honest means Ash will think you are crazy. Who would even believe someone that will tell them that they are fictional characters?

Someone that exists in someone else's imagination? Given life to, with ink and paper?

And with that in mind you decided to answer in a very vague manner. It's the only way you can avoid telling a lie. It might be a white lie that you intend to tell but nevertheless it is a lie. 

And in your perspective, Ash is someone who hates dishonest people.

"I... kind of can predict the future. And how I know you,well, that's really complicated to talk about. And I don't think if I tell you now, you will believe me. But I assure you I'm not someone who wants to harm you."

Please, please believe me Ash.

"..."

Ash grew silent and you can feel your heart beating hard like a drum inside your chest because of how nervous you are. He looks like he is thinking seriously about what to reply with your answer in consideration but you don't know for sure what goes on in his mind at this very moment.

He looked at the tiled floor and back up at you as if trying to think of something to distract himself. 

The tension was thickening and you sweat in anticipation of what his answer is going to be.

"I understand."

You felt your loud beating heart calm down once he spoke. His voice and his demeanor doesn't feel like he was suspicious of you at all.

"Ash..."

"But me understanding you doesn't mean I trust you. It's the complete opposite. And because of you, I miss the flight of a friend of mine. Haaaa... seriously, this is a pain in the ass."

"Hmm? Only a friend, huh?"

Ash looked at you with one of his eyebrow raised and immediately realizing what slipped out of your tongue you cover your mouth, and evaded his glance.

Shit! Why did I said that?!

"Oh? You seem like you know a LOT about me."

You clear your throat and touch your hair to calm yourself down. Twisting strands of it on your fingers while sweating profusely.

"Uh... I... uh... I don't."

Ash all of a sudden leans close to you, his face an inch away from yours and he has this devilish smirk that you know he usually does when he is about to make trouble or when he teases someone. 

"Really?"

Your face turned beet red and your heart races to the point that you feel breathless. You were so flustered, you can't even think straight.

"I-I know you... from... from the news and um... truth is... I'M A HUGE FAN OF EIJI OKUMURA! He... He's the friend you meant just now, right? The one you were supposed to meet at the airport?"

Oh, God!

How weak willed am I?!

Just a little pressure from him and I crumble. But who in their right mind would not when they are faced to faced with Ash?! He is too intimidating and too hot at the same time!

It's bad for my heart!

But your moment of fantasizing about Ash was cut short when he pins you down the bed and you can see from his face how serious he was.

No, serious was not the right word.

Rage, Ash was fuming with rage.

Ash is angry? Why? What did I?

Upon realizing what you said you felt cold water was splashed on you. 

Why did I mention Eiji?

"You... How did you know that it was Eiji? Just who are you? ANSWER ME!"

I'm scared.

Ash is so scary like this. I feel like crying but I know I shouldn't. This is not the time to do so. 

What did I do? 

I angered him but will he really listen to my explanation?

"I won't repeat myself again. Answer me... who the fuck are you and what do you know about Eiji and me?!"

You opened your mouth to speak but your voice won't come out. You feel so scared that it felt like there's a huge lump in your throat.

"You really won't speak, huh?"

His eyes were burning holes on you but the more so that you feel fear, the more your mouth refuses to move.

You were trembling and your expression has fear painted all over your face but this does not move Ash one bit.

He was blinded by rage at the moment that if he felt like choking you to death right now. He would.

But you being dead will be of no use to him to get the information he needed from you. He can't let Eiji's whereabouts be known.

And he knows just what method to make a stubborn woman like you to speak.

Although, he himself doesn't like this method but it's much better than killing you off. Instantly, giving you a painless death.

"I'll give you one last chance. Tell me, who are you and what do you know about Eiji?"

You swallow hard and when you felt your throat clear. You attempted to speak.

"Ash... p-please... trust me. I...I can't tell you right now bu—"

You were cut off mid-sentence when he attacked your lips while his eyes locked on yours. His kiss was not welcoming nor gentle but rather it was rough and unfeeling. 

You were caught off guard and shock was evident on your face but it was immediately replaced by embarassment. Although, it might be nothing for someone like Ash but for you, that kiss was something you don't even dare dream of.

His kiss was beginning to go deep and he nibbled and bit your lip seeking entrance. You gasped without meaning to, and he immediately took the chance to push his tongue inside.

You can tell from the way he kisses you that he is very experienced but you on the other hand can't keep up with his pace, making you feel out of breath.

When he cut the kiss short you gasp for air and feel your body heat go up. It felt like having a fever but it wasn't unpleasant. 

Instead, it felt exciting for you. But you are too embarassed to admit it.

You remember a while ago that you will set your feelings aside but right now, Ash is just making it hard for you to do so.

Ash looked at you with cold piercing eyes and the wave of fear you thought was gone, came back almost immediately.

And in your head, you already know where this is going.

Ash takes off his coat while still on top of you and threw it on the ground. He rolled his sleeves with a smug look on his face, he eyes you like you were a feast waiting to be consumed with every part of you, savored to the very last tip.

"That's not a valid answer. And if you really won't tell. We can take our time and..."

A sudden pause, and one swift motion he pins both your hands above your head with one hand.

"...talk this out like two proper adults. Don't you agree?"

You felt a sharp pain in your stomach when he did so and to stop yourself from crying out in pain, you bit your lower lip.

Ash didn't notice this,and he only minded his own business of figuring out how to undress you and make you talk for the next few seconds to come, by making you scream in pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Alius here! Thank you for patiently waiting for the new chapter!♥️ 
> 
> Do enjoy and if you want to be friends follow me on Twitter: @12_Alius♥️


	6. Assault

Ash raised your shirt up revealing the injury that you suffered from taking a direct hit to the stomach with the knife meant for Ash.

All of a sudden he felt a wave of guilt wash over him, and he considered stopping what it is he intend to do to you but Eiji's safety weighs heavy in his mind. He have to make sure that any threat towards Eiji, will never reach him. If he has to die just to keep him safe, then so be it. 

Eiji is that important to him.

Ash made up his mind and throws all his hesitation away. He steeled his nerves and lift your shirt up as harsh as he could and it revealed your bare breasts, your nipples already hard just from his gaze but you on the other hand try not to show it.

"Nngh...No, Ash... don't.", you plead with a shaky voice but he didn't show any hint of pity or remorse. 

"Your breasts looks great from here. It's a sight to behold but tell me, how many men have you had sex with, to gain information about me and Eiji? How many times did you sell your body to gather enough information just to know this much? And when you jumped in at that time to save me, was it actually a carefully planned act?"

You clench your teeth enduring the pain you feel down your stomach and glare at Ash.

All of a sudden, your respect and admiration that you deeply felt for Ash turned to rage and you sure as hell will not take these proclamations from him quietly.

"Do you really think I'll do that?! Ash, please... just believe me! I'm on your side! I mean you no harm!", you yelled at him but he remains unfazed.

And instead of answering you he lean down where your chest is at, and with the tip of his tongue lick your portruding nipple, making your body tremble, and arch your back.

"A—aah!"

You don't remember being this sensitive. But right now just from his tongue you felt your whole body respond to his touch. You began to wonder was it because of the tension between you two that your body feels more aware than usual?

You wanted to hit yourself for getting turned on from the predicament you are currently in.

This is wrong! This was not how things were supposed to happen!

"Believe you, you say? I don't know if I can do that. Anyone, even you who looks weak and pathetic, might be someone after me or Eiji's life. That's why... instead of words.", Ash with his velvety mouth sucks, and lick your breast without any notice while his free hand carress your stomach down to your nether region, rubbing your core and making you feel surge of pleasure all over your body.

"Mm...A-Ash! S-stop, please!" 

You try and keep a cool head despite the situation but the feeling of Ash's mouth on your breast, and his hand rubbing you, making you wet, felt so good it's clouding your judgement.

It was hard to think straight.

And just when you thought you were about to cum just from his tongue and fingers. He stopped and smirk as he looks at your face.

"I'll only believe in your actions."

"W-what do you mean?", you asked with a puzzled expression.

And Ash taking advantage of your confusion slipped his hand inside your pants, and reach for the wet mound inside it. He put in two fingers inside without any warning, and pump in and out of you. His pace was ridiculously rough that it won't even give you the chance to think, and that feeling of something warm building up inside you wanting release started to take over your senses.

"Ash... aaah!... stop...a-aaah! please...!", You try to struggle but strength was leaving you as pleasure takes over your reasoning. 

You feel so hot, and your face was so flushed to the point you feel like melting.

But with little strength you still have and your sanity still intact, you tried resisting him by putting your thighs together to stop him from making you cum even if it was painful for you. And Ash noticing this, furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. He tightens his grip on your hands and look at you at eye level to intimidate you further.

"Stop struggling. No one will come to your help.", He said while keeping eye contact with you. He retreats his other hand from your pants and with it hold your face steady.

You clench your jaw, and fiercely look at him not wanting to go down without a fair fight.

"Ash, please... don't do this.", you pleaded for one last time but it only added fuel to the fire, and his want to dominate you kicked in. 

Ash was completely intoxicated at the moment with the thought of fucking you over and over again until he sucks you dry of information that he needed.

"That's not an option, sweetheart.", He said with a deep low voice that sounded almost like a growl and it made your walls tighten but you were not about to be swept by his pace.

He leans close to kiss you again on your lips but this time you prepared yourself to finally fight back and with your mind made up, you bite his lips as an attempt to throw him off even for just a moment.

"Fuck!", He cussed in anger, and lost his composure but you were not just about to lose this chance to get your point through to him even if it means taking him by force.

He carelessly let go of you and touch his bleeding lips, and with your hands set free, you took this opportunity to grab his face with both hands and with one smooth motion attack him with a headbutt.

He was taken aback in shock, and without any hesitation and nothing to hold you back anymore, you easily reversed your positions.

You felt that sharp pain again from your injury but you pay it no mind because what's important is to get Ash to trust you right now. No matter what, you must get your point across.

To survive in this world, you have to be desperate and to make use of what knowledge it is you have. And thank goodness for your father who, in a very young age, taught you a bit of self-defense that you can use at situations like these. It was knowledge enough to atleast knock a guy with Ash's build.

And it sure is useful.

You pin Ash's arms with both hands while you stay on top of him while your eyes locked on his. Feeling breathless and a little tired you try and catch your breath for a second before speaking and giving Ash a piece of your mind.

Damn, he is really stubborn and it's not that I hate to sleep with Ash. It's actually a fucking dream come true. But this, this is wrong. It's not something that I will look back on as a good memory even if we did it now.

And I will definitely not let Ash use this method. I know his past and doing something like this with him would just be me using him for my own pleasure. 

If I had given in, I won't be any different from the people who abused and used him like trash.

Just thinking about what those assholes did to him makes me feel sick and disgusted, I can feel my skin crawl.

Ash is human too. So why, why does it have to be him to go through hell? Even if he was fictional. The Ash right in front of me now is breathing and living like a normal person. So how could those people who hurt him fathom what they did to him?

Damn it!

"LISTEN WILL YOU, YOU DUMBASS!", I said holding back my tears but my voice feel like it's going to give up before my tears do. But I still have to do this even if I'll end up a sobbing mess.

Ash looked at you with eyes wide open. Still shocked at what just unfolded before his eyes.

"I'M NOT SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO HARM YOU OR EIJI! I... I CAME HERE TO PROTECT YOU! I'VE TRAVELED HERE BECAUSE I CAN'T ACCEPT THE ENDING YOU CHOSE FOR YOURSELF, YOU IDIOT! DO YOU KNOW...!"

Your lips trembled and even if you really didn't want to show Ash this side of you, holding back your tears was impossible. And so, you give yourself up to the emotions welling up inside of you and cry like a child would when she is hurt or suffering.

"Do you know... how hard it was? And Eiji, did you think...*sob*... he was happy when you were permanently gone. I know... *sob*... what I did was also selfish because y-you'll only suffer much more now... *sob*... but still! You are important! Eiji needs you! I need you! So Ash... don't die. I'll protect you... *sob* even if it costs me my life so please..."

You hold on his shirt and bury your face to his chest without meaning to but because you feel so weak, and vulnerable your shoulders won't stop shaking, it felt like your heart was breaking. It felt like you were crumbling, and your emotions was taking over you while you sob like a kid who can't control what she feels.

"Please don't die... please... I beg of you. Live, Ash. Just live... I'll do anything... just please choose to live. Don't go and die... don't suffer alone! Just... please...Ash... don't carry it all anymore."

Fuck it! I'm too vague, I don't even understand what I was saying myself but this is what I truly feel. 

It's the words I truly want to say to him more than anything.

I want him to live, and let him experience what true living is. I want him to live without regrets or if that's too much to ask then atleast let him live from now on without any more needless bloodshed or his loved ones dying right in front of his eyes.

Please, God!

Ash take in a deep breath and look up at the blank white ceiling while you sob on his chest but for a reason he has no complete understanding of, his heart that felt cold and unfeeling just a minute ago felt warm with you pressing against his chest. Your cry was heart wrenching for him to hear. It's like you were actually mourning him but he doesn't have a clue why. And he might not have fully understood what it is you wanted to say, what it is you want to make him understand but when you fully opened what it is in your heart that you have been holding back, he felt that you were no threat.

And that you were someone, he might be able to trust. He is not sure of it yet. But he decided to go along with his intuition this time around. 

You oddly reminded him of the feeling he thought he lost when Eiji decided to go back to Japan. He actually thought that when Eiji left he will no longer be able to feel that particular warmth. Especially, from this part of the world where he exist in. 

The world was cruel to him, and he kept questioning why the things that happened to him happened. He was in an endless maze with no way out nor hope for the future, and if not for you saving him from that incident, he would have quietly accepted it as his life ending there and then.

And that he was not worthy of living in the same world as Eiji who was shining so brightly, blinding him. He was painfully aware of the huge difference of the world they lived in and he just didn't want to feel that pain anymore. Deep in his mind he actually wished that his life would just end.

But you showed up. Someone unexpected. Someone with the same warmth but vaguely different.

And, now looking at you clinging unto him like he was dear life itself. It made him consider choosing life, and it made him curious again how it is to lead a normal life.

You and Eiji were warmth that when felt, the walls in a person's heart crumble, and he can feel...

...that he was human again, and that it was okay for someone like him to live on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Alius here! It's been a while and here is the new chapter! Again, thank you very much for your continuous support.♥️
> 
> Hopefully, I can make new more chapters but my schedule at school is a bit hectic. I hope you understand and I will do my best to update as fast as I could once I'm done with stuff. See you on the next chapter ♥️

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I have only recently thought of this story due to my depressed self who can't move on from the tragic ending of Banana Fish. I hope this Fanfic will atleast ease those who share the same sentiment as me.♥️
> 
> Enjoy reading♥️
> 
> If you want to be friends do follow me on Twitter: @12_aluis


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